Daughters
The daughters I know will fight tooth and nail with their mothers, long-distance screaming matches that leave both exhausted. Only to defend them like tigresses when they lie dying, defenseless and vulnerable, waiting for sons who will never come.
The daughters I know will grit their teeth, paste a smile on their faces and get on with the endless heartbreaking, backbreaking cycle of hospital visits, home nursing and doctors’ appointments for mothers who no longer recognise them but whose faces light up when sons arrive, asking for accounts and calculations.
The daughters I know will lovingly look after elderly friends, mostly out of love and affection but also in the hope that somewhere, in some other place, someone else’s daughter is looking after their mum.
The daughters I know will struggle between loyalties to past and present, and often sacrifice some integral part of themselves to maintain the peace. Careers, love, children, independence – the daughters I know will play a lifelong game of roulette with these, sometimes winning a round, often losing another.
The daughters I know will forever be a mystery to their families, even as others comes to count on them for sane advice, tough love and endless loyalty. The daughters I know will never be conventional, or easy to live with or have uncomplicated lives.
The daughters I know will micro manage their parents’ well being from a world away, creating a living pipeline of money and phonecalls, resentful siblings and the obsessive fear of losing a parent.
The daughters I know will cry over their parents’ fights and live their entire lives blind to the faults of one or the other, drawing up the battle lines early on. The daughters I know will forgive fathers and brothers for endless shortcomings, yet make sure they are very much the one in control in their adult relationships.
The daughters I know will make hard headed decisions, breaking hearts and living with the loss of parents and true love. The daughters I know will leave old truths behind, making way for a shiny new life and hourglass figures.
The daughters I know will trust their parents to think for them, decide for them, live their lives for them. The daughters I know have quietly donated their minds at the altar of an easy life.
These are some of the daughters in my life. Loyal, flawed, loving, cruel, human. Burdened, blessed.
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