Fatherhood
What will you teach your son?
Will you teach him to guard his heart jealously, so that it is never broken in pieces like yours? Will you warn him to build up his defenses and never let the wall weaken? Will you be careful not to drink too much in his presence, or you might let slip your hatred of women? The anger you hide behind a curtain of platitudes? Will you show him in a myriad ways your disdain, your disregard for his mother? Will you make up for the lost years, all the time he was growing up and you only really saw him on the weekend, or will you spend a lifetime playing catch up? Will you reserve just one of your many faces for him? Will you worry that he may one day see your other face and fail to recognise you? Will you call it love?
Will you teach your son that you are his protector and guardian, and that his life will forever be entwined with yours? Will you hold him close and never let him run free? Will you give him all his heart’s desires but demand a selfish loyalty in return? Will you poison his ears and turn him away from others who love him? Will you be his best friend, until he has no friends left? Will you show him the narrow view, the privileged view and make it irresistible? Will you shelter him from ugliness and life, and never let him see the ugliness of your own life? Will you call it love?
Will you teach only by doing? By being the best human being you are capable of? Will your son always find in you a steady light, unconditional love and fairness in all that you do? Even as he rails and protests your old-fashioned views, will your son never doubt that you are a man of integrity and inner strength? Will you show him your true face, the only face, the same face, no matter the temptation to show your best face? Will you be the lighthouse in his storm?
Or will you never teach him anything at all? Only live a life worth the name. So that your son sees a man who respects himself and so respects everyone around him. A man who never raises his voice and yet is unambiguous in communication of thought and emotion. A man who loves his woman and shows his love in every way possible, never holding back his support in exchange for pettinesses. A man who has his son’s back, even though their paths are wildly divergent and he may never fully understand. A man who lets his son go, confident that he will find his way back home, if he so desires.
What will you teach your son?
That was an awesome read. I hope he decides to be the last variety of man, however difficult it is for him. I hope I can be that guy myself!